The holiday season can be a stressful time especially when parents are going through a divorce. Conflicts arise over who gets the children and when. It is important to put your children's interests first when planning a holiday access plan.
Unless a parent has a harmful relationship with his/her children, it is in the children's best interest to see both parents during the holiday season. There are many ways to accomplish this such as alternating years or splitting days.
For example, one parent has the children for Thanksgiving in even years, and the other parent has the children in odd years. One parent has the children Christmas Eve in even years and Christmas Day in odd years, and the other parent has the children Christmas Eve in odd years and Christmas Day in even years. Or the parties may decide to split Thanksgiving and Christmas days with one parent seeing the children in the morning, and the other parent seeing the children in the afternoon. Or one parent has the children the weekend prior to or after Thanksgiving or Christmas, and the other parent has the children on the holiday.
Each family is different; thus, the holiday access plan will vary. Factors include the parents' living arrangements, the parents' and children's schedules, the ages and wishes of the children and travel costs.
The goal is to make the holiday access plan occur as smoothly as possible without letting your anger and resentment get in the way. This is not the time to keep score and compare the number of moments you and your spouse have with the children. It is also not the time to talk about the divorce or your problems in front of the children. Rather, it is a time to make the holiday season as joyful as possible for the children.
