tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10174044116415677122024-02-11T04:25:24.574-05:00Law Office of Marguerite T. Friar LLCAttorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-2407859373549413392015-08-14T10:33:00.000-04:002016-12-10T11:23:12.066-05:00Children and DivorceAn interesting article appeared on MSN.com entitled, "10 Things Children of Divorce Wish Their Parents Wouldn't Do." The list includes the following:<br />
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1. Badmouthing the other parent<br />
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2. Discouraging the kids from talking about their other parent<br />
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3. Divulging the dirty details of the divorce<br />
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4. Keeping kids completely in the dark<br />
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5. Skipping family events because your ex will be there<br />
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6. Making the situation all about you<br />
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7. Making the kids feel guilty for spending time with their other parent<br />
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8. Justifying your bad behavior<br />
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9. Putting your kids in the middle and<br />
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10. Making everyone feel your unhappiness<br />
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To read more, you can visit the following link at MSN.com:<br />
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<a href="http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/family/10-things-children-of-divorce-wish-their-parents-wouldnt-do/ss-BBlgTib#image=1">http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/family/10-things-children-of-divorce-wish-their-parents-wouldnt-do/ss-BBlgTib#image=1 </a><br />
<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-71010455971640002472015-07-02T12:47:00.000-04:002015-09-02T10:18:12.770-04:00Connecticut Child Support Guildelines<br />
The Connecticut Child Support Guidelines must be considered whenever a child support amount is determined. There is a rebuttable presumption that the amount of the award from the Guidelines is the amount of support to be ordered. This presumption can be overcome with a finding that the Guideline amount would be inequitable. The Guidelines are to be considered in addition to and not in lieu of the criteria established by other child support statutes. <i>See</i> C.G.S. sec. 46b-215b.<br />
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Revisions to the Child Support Guidelines became effective on July 1, 2015. The last time the Guidelines were revised was ten years ago in 2005.<br />
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C.G.S. sections 46b-215a-1 to 46b-215a-6 contain the revisions to the Guidelines. Some of the revisions include a clarification of the definitions of gross income, allowable deductions, health care coverage and expenses, net disposable income, shared physical custody and qualified child. Other revisions were made to the tables and the worksheet. A careful review of the Guidelines is needed to understand all of the revisions made.<br />
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Given the complexity of the Guidelines, you should consult with an attorney to make sure you are calculating the child support amount correctly. <br />
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<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-77172789556124653632013-11-14T18:44:00.000-05:002019-03-13T10:32:18.122-04:00Alimony in ConnecticutAlimony or spousal support is money paid by one spouse to his or her spouse based upon a continuing duty to support. Unlike child support, there is no formula for calculating alimony. If the parties cannot agree on whether or how much alimony should be paid, then a judge will make that decision.<br />
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There are several factors that a judge can consider in awarding alimony. Under C.G. S. section 46b-82, these factors include: the length of the marriage;<br />
the causes for the divorce or legal separation; <br />
the age, health, station, occupation, amount and sources of income, vocational skills<br />
employability, estate and needs of each spouse;<br />
the award, if any, regarding property distribution under C.G.S. section 46b-81; and<br />
the custodial parent's desire to secure employment<br />
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Pursuant to caselaw, a judge can also consider other factors such as the tax consequences of an alimony award. Commencing in the year 2019, alimony will no longer be taxable to the recipient and deductible by the payor.<br />
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A judge has broad discretion in awarding alimony. For example, alimony can be paid in a lump sum at one time or it can be paid in periodic payments over a specific time frame or it can paid in both a lump sum and in periodic payments. It can be as little as $1.00 per year or a much higher amount. Unlike a property division, alimony can be modifiable if so stated in the court order.<br />
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If no alimony is awarded by the judge when the divorce or legal separation decree is entered, then neither party can return to court and ask for alimony.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-39043798562629644022013-08-15T12:12:00.000-04:002016-06-17T12:20:53.615-04:00The Goal of A DivorceThe goal of a divorce is not to pick winners and losers. Rather, the goal is to stabilize the parties and the children and help them move on with their lives.<br />
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Try not to be overly combative. The nastier a divorce is the more your lawyer gets paid and the less money there is for you, your spouse and your children. It is very costly to try a divorce case and if your case is appealed to the appellate level and then the supreme court level, there will be additional costs. <br />
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There are times when you do not have a choice and the case must be tried. Perhaps a spouse is being unreasonable. For example, one spouse is refusing to pay alimony when the case clearly calls for alimony. Or your spouse's behavior is harmful to the children. Or there is domestic violence or substance abuse involved which needs to be addressed in court.<br />
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However, the fact is most cases settle and do not go to trial. Given that fact it makes sense to attempt to try to work in a noncombative fashion with the other side if possible. This can be accomplished with mediation or with the collaborative divorce process or through litigation with two lawyers who can negotiate on behalf of you and your spouse in a professional and cordial manner.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-83857150166315852592013-04-26T13:16:00.000-04:002018-04-14T06:51:33.627-04:00Parental Responsibility PlanIf there is a dispute between parents regarding the custody, care, education and upbringing of their child in a divorce, legal separation or custody action, the parents must file a proposed parental responsibility plan with the court.<br />
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Connecticut General Statute section 46b-56a(d) lists six items which must be included in the plan:<br />
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(1) a schedule of the physical residence of the child during the year,<br />
(2) provisions on decision-making authority between the parents regarding the child's health, education and religious upbringing,<br />
(3) provisions for the resolution for future disputes between the parents,<br />
(4) provisions regarding parents' failure to honor their responsibilities under the plan,<br />
(5) provisions for dealing with the child's changing needs as the child grows and matures, and<br />
(6) provisions for minimizing the child's exposure to harmful parental conflict, encouraging the parents in appropriate circumstances to meet their responsibilities through agreements, and protecting the best interests of the child.<br />
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According to C.G.S. section 46b-56a(e), the objectives of a parental responsibility plan "are to provide for the child's physical care and emotional stability, to provide for the child's changing needs as the child grows and to set forth the authority and responsibility of each parent with respect to the child."Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-32646609766037195482013-03-27T09:00:00.000-04:002019-02-04T12:07:27.777-05:00Custody ActionsThere has been an increase in the number of couples who do not marry and instead just live together. The 2010 U.S. Census data states that unmarried couples made up 12% of U.S.couples in 2010 which is a 25% increase in 10 years. (See<em>, Fewer couples embrace marriage;more live together,</em> USA Today, June 2, 2011).<br />
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The reasons given in the USA Today article for the increase in unmarried couples living together include changing attitudes and the economy. Although it is cheaper to live together, couples are unwilling to marry due to the precarious nature of jobs and relationships. (See, <i>Fewer couples embrace marriage; more live</i> <i>together</i>, USA Today, June 2, 2011).<br />
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In Connecticut, a custody action can be filed in family court if an unmarried couple has children. To start a custody action, a "custody/visitation application" must be served upon the other party. In addition, a Notice of Automatic Orders and Affidavit Concerning Children must be attached to the application. Further, the applicant must provide documentation such as a birth certificate to the court which proves that a legal relationship exists between the parents and the child or children.<br />
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In a custody action, the court orders are limited to issues that affect children such as custody, visitation, education and child support; whereas, in a divorce action, the court can also order alimony and a division of the assets and liabilities.<br />
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If an unmarried couple does not have children, neither a custody action nor a divorce action can be filed in family court. <br />
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<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-13870164285845285812013-02-14T15:52:00.001-05:002013-02-26T23:32:18.355-05:00No-Fault Divorce in ConnecticutConnecticut statutes determine how a marriage can be terminated. Under C.G.S. sec 46b-40 (a), a marriage is dissolved <i>only</i> by (1) the death of one of the parties or (2) a decree of annulment or dissolution of the marriage by a court of competent jurisdiction. In the "olden days," a party had to allege and prove fault such as adultery or willful desertion in order to be granted a divorce. <br />
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Now a party can simply allege and prove that the marriage has "broken down irretrievably" in order to be granted a divorce. This is referred to as a no-fault divorce. If a party would like to allege fault in the complaint, he/she is free to do so but it is not required. Most often, a party simply states that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. <br />
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Even though fault does not have to be alleged in the complaint, it can become a major factor in determining the various aspects of a divorce such as alimony and property division. Another way to view it is that fault can become a part of a divorce case through the backdoor. It is not needed to start and obtain a divorce, but it is often considered when determining the financial matters such as alimony and the division of assets.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-76685373450198310052013-01-30T11:51:00.000-05:002013-03-08T16:44:47.896-05:00Automatic Orders in Connecticut Family LawOne of the best court rules to be enacted in the family law area is Sec. 25-5 or the Automatic Orders upon Service of Complaint or Application. Prior to 1999, parties to a divorce, custody/visitation, legal separation or annulment action tried to transfer property or dissipate assets or move out of state with their children. A motion then had to filed to retrieve the assets or bring the children back which was not always possible. <br />
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Now a list of automatic orders is attached to a custody/visitation application or a divorce, legal separation or annulment complaint. The automatic orders apply to the plaintiff when the complaint or application is signed by the plaintiff, and they apply to the defendant when the complaint or application is served upon the defendant.<br />
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One of the automatic orders is that "neither party shall permanently remove the minor child or children from the state of Connecticut, without written consent of the other or order of a judicial authority." Another automatic order is that "neither party shall conceal any property." The entire list of the automatic orders can be found under Practice Book sec. 25-5 or the court form JD-FM-158.<br />
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The automatic orders remain in effect during the pendency of the action unless terminated, modified or amended by further court order. Failure to obey the automatic orders may be punishable by contempt of court.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-61843463608468626952013-01-09T18:42:00.009-05:002020-08-19T11:29:29.515-04:00Divorce Support GroupsGoing through a divorce can be very stressful. You no longer have a partner to talk to and share activities with. It can be an especially stressful time for single parents. Fortunately, there are resources available such as divorce support groups to aid in reducing the stress.<br />
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One such divorce support group is DivorceCare which has groups that meet weekly to discuss challenges that divorce people face. Each weekly session includes a video on divorce and recovery subjects and a follow-up discussion on what was in the video. You can find more information at <a href="http://www.divorcecare.org/">www.divorcecare.org</a>.<br />
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Another group is Meetup which has activities such as hiking,picnicking,camping as well as educational webinars for divorced parents. You can find more information at <a href="https://www.meetup.com/topics/divorced-parents/">https://www.meetup.com/topics/divorced-parents/</a><br />
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Other groups such as women's centers or divorced men's associations or local churches have divorce support groups. Check with your church or town to see if they have or know of a divorce support group you can join. <br />
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It is important to connect with other people who understand the problems you face and can offer support.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-19647348807165848232012-12-26T15:48:00.002-05:002013-03-08T16:48:22.284-05:00Connecticut Premarital Agreement ActA premarital (or prenuptial) agreement is a written contract signed by a couple prior to their marriage which details what happens in the event that the couple divorces. This type of agreement is especially popular with couples who have been married before and who wish to protect their assets.<br />
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C.G.S. Sec. 46b-36a through 46b-36j contains the provisions of the Connecticut Premarital Agreement Act which specifies the basis of a premarital agreement. It is important that a premarital agreement is drafted correctly in accordance with the Act in order for the agreement to be upheld in court.<br />
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Under C.G.S. Sec. 46g(a) a premarital agreement will not be enforceable if either party did not execute the agreement voluntarily; or the agreement was unconscionable when it was executed or when enforcement is sought; or one of the parties was not provided a fair and reasonable disclosure of the amount, character and value of property, financial obligations and income of the other party prior to execution of the agreement; or one of the parties was not afforded a reasonable opportunity to consult with an attorney.<br />
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Although it may seem unromantic, a premarital agreement can protect a couple if the marriage does not last.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-67042629224334673072012-12-12T10:58:00.000-05:002015-06-22T12:37:14.001-04:00During the holiday season, put your children's interests firstThe holiday season can be a stressful time especially when parents are going through a divorce. Conflicts arise over who gets the children and when. It is important to put your children's interests first when planning a holiday access plan. <br />
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Unless a parent has a harmful relationship with his/her children, it is in the children's best interest to see both parents during the holiday season. There are many ways to accomplish this such as alternating years or splitting days. <br />
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For example, one parent has the children for Thanksgiving in even years, and the other parent has the children in odd years. One parent has the children Christmas Eve in even years and Christmas Day in odd years, and the other parent has the children Christmas Eve in odd years and Christmas Day in even years. Or the parties may decide to split Thanksgiving and Christmas days with one parent seeing the children in the morning, and the other parent seeing the children in the afternoon. Or one parent has the children the weekend prior to or after Thanksgiving or Christmas, and the other parent has the children on the holiday.<br />
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Each family is different; thus, the holiday access plan will vary. Factors include the parents' living arrangements, the parents' and children's schedules, the ages and wishes of the children and travel costs.<br />
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The goal is to make the holiday access plan occur as smoothly as possible without letting your anger and resentment get in the way. This is not the time to keep score and compare the number of moments you and your spouse have with the children. It is also not the time to talk about the divorce or your problems in front of the children. Rather, it is a time to make the holiday season as joyful as possible for the children.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-70717351544634224792012-11-28T09:07:00.000-05:002015-06-22T12:33:46.967-04:00Reconciliation in Divorce, Legal Separation or AnnulmentA person may want to reconcile with his or her spouse after a divorce, legal separation or annulment proceeding has begun. The Connecticut statutes allow for such an attempt to reconcile under sections 46b-10 and 46b-53. <br />
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Section 46b-10 states that at any time before final judgment any judge may require that either or both parties appear before any judge, referee or other disinterested person such as a family relations counselor or caseworker for the purpose of attempting a reconciliation or adjustment of differences between the parties. Such conciliator shall report to the court only whether or not reconciliation can take place and shall not disclose information given by the parties except with the consent of all parties.<br />
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Section 46b-53 provides another method for reconciliation that has a different timeline. That section states that after the return day of a complaint and<i> </i>prior to the expiration of the ninety-day period,<i> </i>either spouse or the counsel for any minor children of the marriage may submit a request for conciliation to the clerk of the court. The clerk shall enter an order that the parties meet with a mutually agreed upon conciliator or if they cannot agree, the court shall name a conciliator.<br />
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Within the ninety day period or within thirty days of the request, whichever is later, there shall be two mandatory consultations with the conciliator. Failure of either party to attend these consultations except for good cause shall preclude further action on the complaint for six months after the return day unless the court orders otherwise. All communications during these consultations are private except that the conciliator shall report to the court whether or not the parties attended the consultations.<br />
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<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-74984636534670540042012-11-07T12:25:00.002-05:002021-11-17T11:09:31.773-05:00Connecticut Parenting Education ProgramUnder statute section 46b-69b, Connecticut requires that parents with minor children who are involved in a divorce, annulment, separation, custody or visitation case must attend a parenting education program. The purpose of the program is to educate persons, including unmarried parents, on the impact on children of the restructuring of families. According to the statute, "the course shall include, but not be limited to information on the developmental stages of children, adjustment of children to parental separation, dispute resolution and conflict management, guidelines for visitation, stress reduction in children and cooperative parenting."<br />
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The parenting education program lasts six hours and is offered in two three hour classes or three two hour classes. Each parent must fill out a form in order to attend the program. The cost of the program is $150.00 per person which can be waived if a person is indigent. There are several agencies throughout the state which provide the program. A list of those agencies and the form that needs to be filled out can be found on the judicial branch website at <a href="http://www.jud.ct.gov/">www.jud.ct.gov</a><br />
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A party can be exempted from attending the program if both parties agree, subject to the approval of the court, not to participate in the program or the court determines that participation is not necessary or the parties participate in a comparable parenting education program.<br />
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<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-75089739987708528552012-10-24T14:41:00.002-04:002013-03-08T17:41:30.766-05:00Collaborative Divorce ProcessThe Collaborative Divorce Process is a non-threatening process in which cooperative practices replace adversarial techniques. The goal is to minimize conflict between the parties. It involves a team approach in which the husband and wife and their attorneys work together in a cordial manner to reach a divorce settlement. Neutral experts such as a coach, a financial planner and/or a child specialist may also be part of the team. <br />
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At the beginning of the process, the husband and wife and their attorneys sign a Collaborative Participation Agreement that they will not file any motions in court or attend hearings during the divorce and will instead work together in a cooperative manner to reach a settlement. The parties schedule a series of joint meetings to identify the priorities and needs of each spouse, exchange information and develop and evaluate options. There is full disclosure and transparent communication.<br />
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Other members of the team may include a coach (often a psychologist or therapist) whose role is to facilitate communication between the parties and address the emotional aspects of the divorce. Also, the parties may use a financial planner to assist in evaluating the financial aspects of the divorce and a child specialist to address the needs of the children. If the Collaborative Divorce Process does not work, then the attorneys are disqualified and must withdraw from the case and the parties must obtain new attorneys to represent them in court.<br />
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The Collaborative Divorce Process differs from Mediation in that in Mediation, the parties meet just with a Mediator who can provide information but cannot give legal advice whereas in Collaborative Divorce, the parties' attorneys are with them at the meetings to provide legal advice.<br />
<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-60590681255404988982012-10-10T12:00:00.000-04:002017-10-14T10:49:37.586-04:00Domestic Violence and CCADVWhat exactly is domestic violence?<br />
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The Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence (or CCADV) defines domestic violence as "a<br />
a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior that
can include physical abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual
abuse or financial abuse. It is a pervasive, life-threatening crime that
affects thousands of individuals in Connecticut regardless of age,
gender, economic status, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation
or education.."<br />
( see CCADV website at <a href="http://www.ctcadv.org/">http://www.ctcadv.org</a> under Information About Domestic Violence )<br />
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According to the CCADV, examples of abuse include:<br />
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a) <i>physical abuse</i> such as shoving and pushing, slapping and punching, scratching, biting, grabbing or spitting, throwing objects, destroying possessions, attacking or threatening to attack with a weapon, or any threats or actual attempts to kill you;<br />
b) <i>emotional abuse</i> such as name-calling and mocking, yelling in the face or positioning his/her body in a menacing way, making humiliating remarks or gestures, telling you what to do and/or where you can and cannot go, putting you down in front of other people, preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives, cheating or being overly jealous, monitoring your phone calls, texts, car and computer use;<br />
c) <i>economic</i> <i>abuse </i>such as denying you access to funds, making sure that major assets such as a house are not in your name, interfering with your work or not letting you work, demanding your paychecks, putting all bills in your name, or credit cards in your name without your consent or knowledge;<br />
d) <i>stalking and harassment </i>which includes following you, making unwanted visits or sending you unwanted messages over the phone, computer, etc., checking up on you constantly, refusing to leave when asked;<br />
e) <i>sexual abuse </i><span style="font-family: inherit;">which</span> includes unwanted touching, rape, taking any kind of sexual pictures or film of you without your consent, denying you contraception or protection against sexually transmitted diseases, forcing or manipulating you into doing unwanted, painful or degrading acts during intercourse.<br />
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Other examples of these various forms of abuse can be found on the CCADV website. The CCADV website also lists the warning signs of an abusive relationship and national statistics which include that in 2009, thirty five (35%) percent of female murder victims were killed by an intimate partner.<br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The CCADV is a membership organization for 18 agencies located thro<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">ughout the state to assist victims of domestic violence. Their </span><span style="line-height: 17px;">services</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> are confidential and available to all individuals. They provide safety planning, advocacy, information, referrals, counseling, support groups and emergency shelters. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">( see CCADV website at <a href="http://www.ctcadv.org/">http://www.ctcadv.org</a> )</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">If you would like more information and/or need help, call the CCADV's toll free domestic violence hotline at 888-774-2900.</span></span></span></div>
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<br />Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-29844936134099210822012-09-26T14:00:00.000-04:002013-03-08T16:52:59.984-05:00A Pro Se Party Should Consult With An AttorneyA Pro Se party is a person who represents himself or herself. Oftentimes, a Pro Se party will not consult with an attorney and will rely on the advice of non-attorneys such as family members, friends, neighbors or court personnel who are not licensed to give legal advice.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">This can be problematic as serious mistakes can occur which cannot be corrected or can be very costly and difficult to correct.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /><span style="background-color: white;">For example, errors can occur in not knowing the law and/or rules of evidence and court procedures, not understanding the tax ramifications of a divorce, failing to budget correctly, not having a specific parenting plan, not understanding retirement accounts, drafting an agreement that is too general, not taking into account future events such as a bankruptcy, not understanding the distinction between a property versus an alimony award, not disclosing assets or debts, relying on incorrect financial affidavits, miscalculating child support and so on.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white;">A person going through a divorce oftentimes will allow his or her emotions rather than logic rule when making decisions. He or she may want the divorce over with and will agree to a settlement that is not in his or her best interest nor in the best interest of the children. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
In order to prevent a bad result with your divorce, you should consult with an attorney, such as myself, to find out what your options are. Otherwise, serious mistakes can occur which cannot be corrected or can be very expensive and difficult to correct.Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-83164721849311688492012-09-12T15:22:00.008-04:002021-07-30T11:09:40.671-04:00Domestic Violence and Restraining Orders<p>Under Conn.Gen. Stat. sec. 46-15, any family or household member who has been subjected to a continuous threat of present physical pain or physical injury, stalking or a pattern of threatening by another family or household member may make an application to the Superior Court for a restraining order. </p><p>Starting Oct. 1, 2021, "coercive control" shall be included in the definition of domestic violence. Coercive control entails power and control over the victim through actions such as isolation, humiliation, intimidation and domination.<br /></p><p>Family or household member who can apply for a restraining order includes, regardless of age, spouses or former spouses, parents or their children, persons related by blood or marriage, persons presently residing together or have lived together at any time, persons who have a child in common regardless of whether they are or have been married or have lived together at any time, and persons who are in or have recently been in a dating relationship.<br />
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If the victim of abuse or applicant alleges in the application for a restraining order, that an immediate and present physical danger exists to the applicant, a Judge can grant an ex parte (without a hearing) restraining order. The Judge can also extend the restraining order to any minor child of the applicant and award the applicant custody of said child.<br />
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A hearing is held within 14 days to see if the restraining order can be continued for 1 year. Even if a Judge does not grant an ex parte order, an applicant can still have a hearing within 14 days.<br />
However, if the applicant states that the respondent holds a permit to carry a pistol or revolver, an eligibility certificate for a pistol or revolver, a long gun eligibility certificate or an ammunition certificate or possesses one or more firearms or ammunition, and the Judge orders an ex parte order, the Judge shall order that a hearing be held not later than 7 days from when the ex parte order is issued.<br />
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At that hearing, the applicant must prove that he/she has been subjected to a "continuous threat" of present physical pain or physical injury, stalking or a pattern of threatening or coercive control by another person.<br />
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The Appellate Court has determined that <i>one incident</i> combined with a finding that the respondent presently poses a continuous threat, is sufficient to warrant the granting of a restraining order. (see, <i>Rosemarie B.-F. v. Curtis P</i>., 133 Conn. App. 472, 38 A. 3d 138 (2012).<br />
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The applicant can also request that financial orders be entered with the restraining order by filling out a Supplemental Affidavit and Request for Orders of Maintenance. This Request is applicable only in those cases where the parties are married or if the parties live together and have a dependent child or children in common.<br />
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In addition to applying for a restraining order, a victim of domestic violence can also file a criminal complaint with the police dept.<br />
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<br /></p>Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-76789085602838071762012-08-29T14:00:00.066-04:002023-05-28T10:22:25.493-04:00Long-Term Marriages and DivorceRates of "gray divorce" or a separation after the age of 50 have more than doubled in recent decades. According to Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State, reaching 50 brings major life transitions such as the children moving out of a house. Oftentimes, a divorce is not precipitated by a single event but is a result of drifting apart. <span style="background-color: white;"> Other reasons given for divorces include longer life spans and more economic independence. S</span>ee People Magazine, May 6, 2021 article, "Bill & Melinda Gates' Split Shines Light on "Gray Divorce" Trend Experts Think Pandemic Fuels" (<a href="https://people.com/human-interest/bill-melinda-gates-split-brings-attention-to-gray-divorce-trend/">https://people.com/human-interest/bill-melinda-gates-split-brings-attention-to-gray-divorce-trend) </a><div><div>
<br />The article notes that the Covid-19 pandemic forced more introspection and people are less willing to stay in empty shell marriages that are not conflictual but are also not happy.<br />
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The fact that couples in long-term marriages are divorcing is not necessarily a negative thing if those marriages are beyond repair. Oftentimes, <span style="background-color: white;">much resentment and animosity can build up over the years in unhealthy, long term marriages.</span><br />
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An AARP study, "The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond" (<a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-2004/divorce.html">http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-2004/divorce.html</a>), found that 70 percent of those who initiated the divorce were confident they had done the right thing. In addition, 75 percent of the women in their 50s and 81 percent of the men in their 50s reported enjoying a serious, exclusive relationship after their divorce often within two years. Further, 80 percent of respondents reported either a somewhat or very positive outlook on their life.<br />
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<br /></div></div>Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-8072098283304444962012-08-15T14:35:00.000-04:002020-05-20T12:22:47.210-04:00A Leading Cause of DivorceAlcohol and/or drug abuse is very pervasive in our society and is a leading cause of divorce. Unfortunately, not many people are willing to discuss alcohol and drug abuse.<br />
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According to the 2015 National Survey on Drug Use & Health (NSDUH), 15.1 million adults, ages 18 and older, had an alcohol use disorder and an estimated 88,000 people die from alcohol related causes annually making alcohol the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. (See https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-facts-and-statistics).<br />
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According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine's 2016 Facts and Figures, nearly 2 million people in the United States are suffering from an addiction to prescription painkillers. (See https://drugabuse.com/taking-drugs-alcohol/opiate).</div>
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Chances are we all know of someone who has a problem with alcohol and/or drug abuse and have witnessed the damage that it causes in that person's life and in the lives of those around him or her<span style="background: white;">.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Many times a person feels compelled to divorce a spouse with an alcohol and/or drug abuse problem because that spouse is unwilling to admit to and/or deal with the problem. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-78548580639390734832012-08-08T13:00:00.000-04:002013-03-08T17:46:00.877-05:00Legal Separation versus DivorceMany people think that the procedure for a legal separation is shorter and cheaper than the procedure for a divorce. That is not the case.<br />
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The procedure and cost for a legal separation are very similar to a divorce. The main difference is that in a legal separation, the parties remain as husband and wife and cannot remarry, whereas in a divorce the parties are no longer husband and wife and can remarry.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Once an order for a legal separation has been entered, the parties can later convert the legal separation to a divorce by filing a motion with the court which includes a statement that the parties have not resumed marital relations. </span><span style="background-color: white;"> A hearing is held to determine if the legal separation can be converted to a divorce. If the Judge determines that the parties have resumed marital relations, then the legal separation cannot be converted to a divorce.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;">If, after an order of legal separation has been entered a couple would like to reconcile, they can file a declaration of resumption of marital relations with the court and the order of legal separation will be vacated. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Because the procedure and cost for a legal separation are similar to a divorce, many couples choose divorce.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-31503708367571141532012-08-01T14:34:00.000-04:002015-06-22T11:03:38.536-04:00Is Mediation A Good Option For You?Mediation is an option that a couple can use to reach an agreement for their divorce, legal separation or other family matter. A major goal of Mediation is to avoid courtroom battles.<br />
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In Mediation, I act in a neutral, impartial manner and do not take sides or represent either party. Instead, I help a couple identify the various issues such as custody, visitation, child support, alimony and property division and help the couple reach an agreement that is mutually satisfying to both parties.<br />
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The Mediation process involves a series of meetings with the couple at my office. The total number of meetings required is determined by the couple and myself. Even though I do not represent either party in Mediation, I can assist in the drafting of paperwork that needs to be filed with the courthouse. <br />
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I will advise each party to seek the advice of a lawyer during the course of the Mediation because, as a Mediator, I can only give information and cannot provide legal advice. I will also recommend that the parties consult with other experts such as accountants, appraisers and therapists as needed.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">In my experience, Mediation is a good option when the parties trust each other, are willing to work together and act in good faith and can communicate well. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Mediation is not a good option for a couple where there is an imbalance in power, an unwillingness to work together and act in good faith, a lack of trust and a high level of conflict. </span><span style="background-color: white;">In those types of cases, it is better for each of the parties to obtain an attorney to handle the negotiations and represent him or her in court.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span> </span>Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1017404411641567712.post-64359284848695464562012-07-25T15:36:00.000-04:002013-03-08T18:02:43.464-05:0010 Tips to Surviving A DivorceEmotions can run high during a divorce. The feelings of betrayal and anger can become all-consuming. I developed the following ten tips to serve as a guideline as you prepare for your case and life after divorce:<br />
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<b>1. Put Your Children’s Interests First</b><br />
The divorce or separation is not only about you and your spouse. It also involves your children who are undergoing a major disruption in their lives. In order to minimize this disruption to your children, it is important to put their interests first. <br />
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<b>2. Control Your Anger</b><br />
When anger is not controlled it becomes very destructive and counterproductive. Screaming at the opposing party, yelling in the courthouse and at the lawyers and judges are very ineffective tactics and harmful to your case.<br />
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<b>3. Take the High Road and Do Not Be Vindictive</b><br />
Nothing positive can be accomplished when you adopt a vindictive attitude. In fact, it causes more harm than good especially to you and your children.<br />
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<b>4. Accept the Fact that Change is Occurring</b><br />
Divorce or separation is comparable to a death or loss. It is the disintegration and reformation of a family structure. You need to grieve the loss, accept the fact that change is occurring and move on.<br />
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<b>5. Seek Counseling When Necessary</b><br />
Counseling can be very helpful to many people to help them explore why the divorce or separation is occurring and to express their feelings. It is especially useful for those who are having trouble accepting the divorce or separation and cannot control their anger.<br />
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<b>6. Maintain a Good Support Network</b><br />
Since divorce or separation is such a stressful and difficult period, it is important that you spend time with your friends and family and not isolate yourself.<br />
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<b>7. Do Not Mistake the Forest for the Trees</b><br />
Do not get bogged down on the little things and instead, focus on the long term bigger picture. In other words, you can win the little battles and end up losing the war. Concentrate on what is best for you in the long run and let go of the little things.<br />
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<b>8. Be Honest</b><br />
There is a limit as to what you will be able to accomplish if you are not honest. Your lawyer will be limited in his/her ability to assist you if you are not candid with him/her. A judge will not rule in your favor if you lack credibility. In fact, if you lie under oath in the courtroom, then you have committed the criminal offense of perjury.<br />
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<b>9. Do Your Homework</b><br />
Learn as much as possible about the legal process and be an active participant. The more that you educate your lawyer on what you want, what occurred in the relationship and what the financial situation is, the better your lawyer can assist you.<br />
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<b>10. Seek the Advice of a Good Lawyer</b><br />
Seek the advice of a lawyer, such as myself, who has had several years of experience in the field of family law and listen to what he/she has to say. It is important that you are aware of what your options are so that you can make an intelligent decision as to what to do in your case.<br />
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Attorney Marguerite T. Friarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18204121139046388607noreply@blogger.com